Hold your breath.......

They have been working together for six months now.
This is the first time, he had asked her out. She was quite surprised but delighted with the offer.
Friday. Dinner. They fixed the time at 2000 hours.

Tuesday was rolling by slowly. Two more days to go. She couldn’t contain the excitement.
He was eagerly waiting for the day to come. He had wanted to ask her out for so long, and at last he mustered the courage to do so.

Friday.
They finished work and he had called her, before she was closing shop.
“Hi. Shall meet you in the restaurant. Running to meet a client now. Sorry ! Cant pick you up”
“No problem, I shall see you at eight then” she replied.
“Yeah sure. The reservation, is under your name”
They hung up and she went home to freshen up.

She liked his choice of restaurant.
“Good evening Ma’am. Are we holding a reservation for you” inquired the friendly maitre d.
She confirmed the same and he was glad to show her the table.
She was little early, wanting to see him arrive.
Table was at a quiet corner, secluded from the rest and a lovely view of the pool outside, bathed by the moon light.
Two minutes to eight, she saw him as he walked in.
Dressed in casuals, faded jean and tee shirt, freshly shaven, he was looking smart. His hair gelled, he was conscious about other women in the restaurant eyeing him.

As he was walking in, he was looking at her. Dressed as perfectly as ever, she was sitting at the table smiling at him. In pale blue short kurta, with her hair falling over her shoulders, with the touch of gloss on her lips, she was looking stunning.
Hope not to let her catch him staring at her, he mouthed hi and sat at the table.
“Were you waiting long? I am sorry!” he apologized.
With the wave of her hand, she said no.
For a second, they locked eyes and she flashed him a smile, her electric smile.

“What would like to drink” steward enquired, as he quietly approached the table.
They ordered a cocktail each.
Food order followed.
They started enjoying the evening, with the good view and company as well.

As the evening proceeded, they started discussing about each other. He started telling her about his family and education. Basically from Bangalore, he finished his education back home and currently in Hyderabad for work. His love was sports and music. He is a member of the foot ball team of the company. She could make out his well maintained body and muscle, to agree so.
Desserts were served.

After the meal, they strolled towards the pool. In the moon light, he could make out, how beautiful she was. With her smile and her expressive face, he was lost.

They walked towards the parking.
He opened the door for her and he slid in the driver’s seat and started the car.
She gave him the direction to her place.
With soft music in the background, they were discussing about work and targets lying ahead.

Once outside her place, she thanked him for the evening. He did the same.
She smiled and started to open the door, to find it jammed. She tried again, it wouldn’t give in.
He tried the door, reaching across her.
He could smell the mild perfume from her and he caught the fragrance of her hair, as it fell from her shoulder onto his face.
He turned to look at her eyes. They stared looking at each other for the next couple of seconds and......

Darkness!!!


Anne was plunged into darkness.
Power Cut.
She was typing something pretty interesting to show her friend….
She was almost finished, when the computer switched off.
Oooppsss.. She hadn’t saved the file!!!
Pretty upset, with herself and the power failure, she lit the candle and sat in the balcony, with the moon light streaming in the room, for her friend to return back home!

Falling in Love

Anne was pretty bored in the afternoon. Her boss was leaving to Bangalore for a day that evening and he had packed up early.
She was browsing through her old mails and she found something very interesting.
Something which made sense to her and perfect one for her to realize where she was in the loop.

FALLING IN LOVE

It’s a mystery why we fall in Love.

It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is mystery why some love fails. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interest and attractions and commonalties that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its way.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty! This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on. When this happens to young people, they to often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given and
a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answer where are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away start a new life together, their love will grow. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself! If, and until they accept its own mysterious way; they live in sea of misery. You need to know this about love, and to accept it.

You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the person’s heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our
lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to asses blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes in to your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it
poor in spirit. Give to the world around you in anyway you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it! Or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open it will come again.


Anne was touched by the article and she hit the forward button to send it to people who would understand the same. People who are in love, who are yet to fall in love……..
She signed off her mails with a small note:
“If you can’t see the stars twinkle in the night sky, it doesn’t mean that they’ve disappeared. They’re just behind a blanket of clouds and you will see them shine again”

But why??

But why??
Anne was wondering, as she finished the call with her friend, Annie.
Yes, they both shared the same name.
They had worked together, for a short period of time, but still they had so much in common.
Their line of thinking, likes, dislikes, reasoning things out, were quite the same.
Wavelength. Do they say something like that! Yes, they shared the same wavelength of thoughts.
But, now Anne was hurt.

But why??
She was hurt by what Annie had to tell and she had hurt Annie, with her thoughts.
Anne was choking. She was not crying… yet to start that.
There were people in her office; she can’t bring herself to get emotional now. But, her chest was crushing. Her throat was choking Her mouth was dry. Her knees were shaking after the call.
Annie, she is an angel. Yes, she looked like one too. Short, cute, with her dimple smile always fixed on her face, she is an angel friend of Anne.
She expected Annie to understand her feelings, but…..

But why??
Annie had asked about the call she made at 23:59.
She spoke to Annie about the call, how he had not wanted to hear from her anymore. Annie knows him as well.
She informed Anne that, he was hesitant to bring things to normality.
Annie wanted things to end in a better note, which is bitter now. Yes, Anne too wants the same. She had tried n number of times, to mail him or call him to get things back to better shape. When she was avoided and rudely spoken to……
Now, when Annie wants her to control her feelings and try again……..

But why??
Anne didn’t find any effort from his side. Anne feels why she should push someone, when they are not interested.
No one wants to understand her.
And she had disconnected the call with Annie, before she lost control on herself.

But why??
Anne couldn’t understand… why all this was happening to her.
She had tried her best, to bring things back to normal. When there is no positive response from the other end, what else she could do. She doesn’t have the control on others behaviour. But, she is the one, who is being targeted.
“You should do this. You should do that. You should have done this. You shouldn’t have done that”
Yes. She should and shouldn’t have done this and that.
But, why is any one not willing to hear her out.
Why is no one trying to understand what she is going through?

But why??
Why this between Annie and her?
Why cant things get better for her?
Why can’t someone let her reason out?
Why her?

But why?
Some questions go unanswered.
May be its these.

But why??

Anne finished writing this in her diary.
She had calmed down now. To an extent.
She would call Annie later, definitely.
Before she realized what happened, she fainted.

But why??

Eternal Love

"Let the splendour of diamond pearl and ruby vanish.
Only let this one solitary tear glisten spotlessly bright on the cheek of time."
----- Rabindranath Tagor ------

Three Hundered and Fifty Years.
Anne read the papers, sipping her cup of coffee in the cafe at the basement.
Isn't that great. Eternal Love for three and half centuries....... where one can see many relations not lasting three and half days even!
Just then, she saw a couple, her co-workers, sitting at the next table holding hands across the table and mumbling sweet words to each other.

Smiling to herself, she hurried towards the door to get to the bakery at the mezzanine level, to place the cake order for her boss, to be delievered at 1730 hours.

Life is like that

~ IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE ~

If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous ……
Then it’s not love--- it’s “Infatuation”----------

If you love someone because you think that you shouldn’t leave him because others think that you shouldn’t …….
Then it’s not love--- it’s “Compromise”---------

If you love someone because you think that you cannot live without his touch…….
Then it’s not love---- it’s “Lust”--------

If you love someone because you have been kissed by him….
Then it’s not love--- it’s “Charity”-------

If you love someone because you share everything with him…..
Then it’s not love--- it’s “Friendship”--------

But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him….
That’s “Love”-------

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets…..
That’s “Love”-------

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn’t mean to…..
That’s “Love”------


----- Anonymous-----

Anne was staring at the frosted glass door of her office, wondering who this mysterious person is, who has left this card on her table.

Made my day

Drumming her fingers on the table, Anne waited for the page to open.
One new mail.
“U deserve it”
That’s the subject. Her friend had forwarded a mail.

Anne was dumbstruck. It brought her back the old memories. Is she trying to forget them? Or is she waiting for time to heal the wound.
Didn’t she read somewhere that, when pain is too much, time cannot erase…

She started to make a note of this in her book, so she can share this with the rest!

I’m not begging you to love me
I’m not really even asking you.
But, isn’t it alright
If I cherish that hope in my heart?
If I dream of just holding your hand,
It will hurt me --- not you.
I will try to keep my eyes from shining
When they see you.
And I promise
I will not try not to smile a special smile
When you say hello.
But, please
Don’t ask me
Not to love you.

Mmmm…..
She wanted to share this with everyone…, People whom she knows, whom she doesn’t.
So, she mailed the same to her friend, who can place it in the web journal or something like that, they were speaking about a week back.

Flashback

Anne was sitting and thinking about, one of her countless dreams, the one where she was heading the Human Resources.

Sighing to herself, she got back to work. She was awaiting a mail, from one of her coordinating department, so she can start compiling the data and prepare the report.
“Receiving 1 of 1 mail from server“
Mail finally came through.

“Oh nooo… not again”, she said out aloud, when the phone rang. She didn’t want to be disturbed.
Suddenly her office was full of people. Sales people standing out there to meet the Big Boss, to get their approval on letter, Security person standing there to give the couriers and someone there to clear the coffee cup, he needs to know, where the cup is.
With the phone cradled on her shoulders, she signed and accepted the couriers, motioned the guy to pick up the cup from the inner office and conveyed the message to the Sales guys, that boss not in office in sign language.
Finished the call and she was alone again, she started sorting the covers.
When she came to this particular one from Management of Hotel Academy, she paused…….

“So, let’s have some discussion. No Shares and Debentures for the next half hour. So, young ladies, what do you want to do, when you grow up? Malini ?”
All the girls turned to look up at Malini, who is standing there, beaming at the Accountancy Teacher.
Short, stocky, fair lady wrapped in a starched navy blue cotton saree, re-crossed her leg as she addressed the class of 15 young girls.
Anne adored her. If she ever wanted to be a teacher, she knows who her role model would be!
“I would want be a fashion model” blushed Malini. The class discussed about how she has the height to her advantage and what she should do to continue further.
“ And you Anne?”, teacher looked at her. She was picking up names randomly.
“Mmmm… I would want to Hotel Management, hope I can convince my parents in me doing the course”. Anne responded.
“Anne, I appreciate that, you value your parent’s decision. But its your call finally. There is no point in doing something which you don’t like” Teacher added.

Anne ended up doing her Bachelors in Banking Management.

Sighing, she stretched back on the leather chair, looking at her office. Though she pursued a course on Finance field, here she is sitting in a Five Star Hotel, Assistant to the Managing Director. Been working with the Group for the past three years, she looked back at her experience to find that, her very first job was in a Hotel, at the restaurant.
She felt lucky to be in the industry, though she didn’t undergo all the formal training.
She smiled to herself, opened the cover to find an invitation for a Food Festival.

She put that aside and opened the mail and started working on it, with a smile on her face !!!

Ache

She was trying to sleep. Every inch of her body was paining and she had splitting head ache. She was trying to get some sleep. Pressing her head against the pillow and her left hand holding the head, she was slipping into deep sleep on her side.
The splitting pain came again and she could feel a tap on her shoulder. She stirred.
“Anne, wake up… your alarm is on…. You wanted to call somebody right” her mom was on her side.
Anne couldn’t open her eyes, but she somehow managed it out of her bed. She had to call him and wish him. Five more minutes and it’s his birthday.
She wanted to be the first to wish him, though she missed the same last year by 10 minutes….
So many things have happened in those 52 weeks.
They are more like strangers…..

Anne, dialed his number on her mobile at 23:59….
No response. She tried again. Sleepy voice answered the phone……
He sounded surprised to receive her call and she wished him…..
“Oh! Thanks Anne”
“How are you?”
“I am fine, thanks. How about you” To hear him say such formal things, were out of place…
With the formalities in place, they were stuck with what to speak next.
“So, can you squeeze in five minutes of your time, for us to meet, this evening?”
He paused. Anne got the feeling of his reluctance, but she gasped when he replied
“I don’t think, I want to have this meeting”
Tears rolled on her cheeks and she was trying to keep her voice steady.

Last year, she had spent the whole day with him. Movie, lunch, had a drink and they had good fun…
But…… now, things have changed a lot…

What had gone wrong? Those petty fights about a different woman in his life and his over possessiveness has cost so much. But that was true. She was taken for a choice. He had confided that to her.
With all those calls and mails he was sending to this, first choice” of his, Anne was broken. Hence the fights, arguments and finally a bitter end.

She tried writing to him and mailing him… not to make it work… at least to make it better. This bitterness, avoidance where things they have discussed about, at length. To be more sensitive to other persons feeling. She wanted things to be normal… not like this… they can remain as friends….
During this twelve months time, Anne learnt the importance of patience. If only, one of them had been patient and listened to the other….
If she could have understood his possessiveness
If he could have spent time with her….
So many if’s……, too late to be answered.

“Oh !! You should be busy in the evening… No problem, do call me and let me know when we can meet” She managed to cover.
“Mmmmm….. But I think, we should not speak much!”
His blunt statements were doing no good to her.

She couldn’t take more than this…
Shifted the topic to families, work and finished the conversation, with the usual ‘bye’ and ‘keep in touch’.
She started walking towards her room with tears rolling down her eyes and with her headache really cracking her down.
With tears rolling down and wetting her pillow, she closed her eyes and wished she could turn back time!!

Dreamzzz

Fast Forward !

Its one of those boring sessions of Economics class. Supply and demand was the topic of the day.

Anne, a successful career woman. She has been heading the Human Resources of the unit for the third year now. Yet another busy day. Started pretty late from her house and fighting her way through the morning traffic and she made it to the office… 5 minutes late. Picked up her daily newspapers from the outside office, with a cup of hot chocolate from the café in the basement, she enters her office, glancing sideways at the full length mirror in the corridor.
She was happy at what she was looking…. With no exercise, she has been able to maintain her vitals perfectly. With her black business suit and ivory color shirt and her hair tied in a French roll, she looked business like. She smiles and starts her computer.
While her system was booting, she glances through her notes through her glasses perched on her nose, for the morning meeting with the General Manager. Her day to submit the P&L of her department. As she is cross checking her figures with the previous years… she was startled with the ring of the phone…

Someone was banging the table…

Oopppss… back to earth.
She was sitting and staring at the board and someone was speaking in the background.
Look up to see, her Economics teacher was asking something and the question was directed to her!!!!
Anne finally wakes up from her endless dream of being a Human Resource Manager….
She fumbles and somehow answers a part of the question on supply, the part to which she listened in the first hour of the day…

Anne rubbed her eyes and started making notes and mental note to continue the session on morning meeting, tonight in her dreams.

mmm....

Blogs - mind boggling...

my first post...
stuck up with what to write..

its pretty funny to know that, I am free to write what I feel is making me nervous...!!!