Saturday, November 20, 2004

Should***Should***You should !!

Finishing her late lunch, Anne just came back to office. Quite a heavy meal…
Three new messages, the icon in the task bar blinking, she opens her inbox.
One of her friends…. had replied to her mail, on the dilemma…
Should she? Or shouldn’t she??

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Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them. They won't be there...................Forever.
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10th Grade

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so-called 'best friend'.I
stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

11th Grade

The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don t know why.

Senior year

One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as she smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Graduation.

A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Marriage.

Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Death.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !"
.........'I wish I did too.'.........
I thought to my self, and I cried.

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Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them. They won't be there...................Forever.
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Anne finished reading the mail.
But, if it has to happen, it would happen! Won't it?

The world is full of could’ve -beens. A could’ve –been is worse than a has-been. At least the has-been was “there” once.

“I could’ve conveyed the message to him” would be worse than “I had conveyed the message to him”.
Wishing she would get a chance… she continued working on her reports.

Thank you for the mail. All courtesies extended to "eyes".

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Will. Wont. ***** Will. Wont. ***** Will. Wont.

Should I
Shouldn’t I


Should I tell, what’s running in my mind?
Should I just leave it at that??

With piles of paper to be cleared and work to be done, Anne was confused.

She didn’t expect to hear this!
Now what she should do?

Yes. She wont keep this in her mind and fight over it. She is going to muster the courage and speak up, what she feels.
“Sometimes will power isn’t as important was won’t power” – to hell with these thought for the days! and one liners!!!

She is unable to open her mouth and tell when she sees him!
What if, he misunderstands her!
[Don’t we all go through this? What if I say and things change… yeah, it can change for the positive as well. But who wants to take that risk!!]
If he misunderstands her!!! then!
If.. If….. If…. If…. So many If’s.

Men. Ego. Three letter words.
It just stops them from accepting things. May be not all of them. But definitely him!
He is waiting for her to open up! May be that’s what she thinks.

What if, it’s not the same with him?
She has gone through this earlier… till date…. Yet to be spoken words, yet to be conveyed feeling.
Does she want to repeat the trauma again!!!!
Oh no!!! She doesn’t have the time even… but when, how???

Oooffff… too many questions…
These things complicate the whole stuff..

Just take a deep breath and say it out..
There he comes to the office and
“Had lunch?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He was standing there smiling at her and she was looking at him.
“He is here. There is someone come to meet you. Sitting in the lounge” Ajay walks in and calls him.
There he goes!

Ooppss… another chance missed!

Should I
Shouldn’t I?

She starts fighting with these questions again!!

From him. To her.

What is Love?

It’s when you hide tears and still care for her.
It’s when she ignores and you still love her.
It’s when she begins to love another and you still smile for her.